Dear Students, Don't Do This...

Dear Students,

As the new semester approaches, might I offer some sound advice. Please, don’t do this. We know. We always know. Just please don’t…

My notes in italics…

original message - Sent: Sat, 20:47:53 PST

Hi Jo, (really, Jo?)

I hope you are doing well and having a great weekend (uh huh). I am just curious (curious, are you really?) as to why I received a D grade on the most previous assignment despite that I handed in the assignment prior to the dead line? If you could please get back to me at your earliest convince (spelling, sigh) that would be greatly appreciated thank you (buckle up, I’m gonna tell ya).

Kind regards,

xxxx xxxxxx

And my response…

xxxxxx,

Happy to break things down...

Assignments are due at the beginning of class. The timestamp on your submission is 9:58pm on the 18th, a full 5 hours after class ends. Technically, you're late.

Assignments should be presented during class for discussion, as we've done each week for the last 12 weeks. Participation is 20% of your grade. Additionally, your zoom camera was off for the entirety of class. As per the rules, I should have marked you absent. Students are required to have their cameras on to be marked present for class.

Your submitted images for this assignment are either grossly underexposed, or wildly over edited. Either way they read as quite dark, and not at the technical level that I would expect this late in the course.

The timestamps on your individual images submitted range from 12:51:04pm to 12:52:00pm, which tells me that you spent, quite literally, less than one minute shooting this assignment.

You have checked all the boxes in terms of minimum requirements for the assignment, and that earns you the grade of a C. Given the submission was late and not presented for discussion, you were marked down a full letter grade to a D. The grading criteria is quite clear, and was discussed on the first day of class, as was my policy on late assignments.

If all this seems heavy handed I apologize, I just want to be overwhelmingly clear. I understand you are not a photo major, and that photography may not be your area of interest. And while I keep things quite lax and informal in my class, I can assure you I take this course and the work quite seriously. You can continue to submit the bare minimum for the assignments, and you'll likely pass, but you should not be surprised about your grade.

Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.

Respectfully, your instructor, who is completely fed up with your BS…

~Joseph

Rantings of a misanthropic art school instructor...

Teaching can be amazingly satisfying, and incredibly frustrating... I often tell my students that when I began teaching I was, in fact, young and pretty, and that the grizzled, grey-bearded fountain of sarcasm they see before them is a result of past students slowly driving me insane. This is only half true. I've always been sarcastic, abrasive and mildly crazy, just not grey...

Having just wrapped up the spring semester, I'd like to offer some words of wisdom to my students, present and future. Words that I know will most likely never find them, since I'm not posting this to my instagram story.

Nonetheless, in no particular order...

Care about something. Anything, doesn't matter what. Have an opinion, any sort of opinion. Show some passion. It's ok to be wrong, just be something. "I don't know" is not a suitable answer to anything, ever, and I'm tired of hearing it. I would rather see you fail miserably in an epic fiery explosion than watch you eek out a resounding "meh." Put a little heart into it... you've got to care.

Put down your phone. Please. I realize this makes me sound like an old codger (which I am), but for the love of all that is holy, just put it down. I get that there is stuff happening and you have an algorithmically enhanced case of FOMO but for Christ's sake please, just for a minute, pay attention to what's going on around you. Engage with people, have a conversation, try and relate to your peers and your classmates on a personal level. The relationships you build are going to be worth so much more than the likes you acquire. I promise, the algorithm will have plenty of crap for you to look at later. It's also horrifically rude in a class. Seriously. Talk to a real person instead.

Learn to articulate yourself. This isn't about slang. Language changes, words and phrases fall in and out of favor with time, geography, pop culture, etc. Most of the time my own wife can't understand me because of my gratuitous use of mid-western colloquialisms, enhanced (or exacerbated) by my consumption of bourbon... However, I can tell you from experience, nothing is worse than not being able to articulate yourself to those around you. Read, listen, ask questions, learn to use your words, this is important.

Last and certainly not least... Do your homework.